What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
16.06.2025 02:28
I said to her
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Have you ever had your crush reject you, and then later you all dated and married?
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
What is the difference between heaven and heavens?
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Did Obito ever fully redeem himself in everyone's eyes?
I could never make a relationship work though!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Why am I sweating so much at night even though my room is really cold?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
As i do to all so called friends.?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Why are Korean female leads so angry all the time?
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
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Was to survive, this bastard.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Webb telescope took a direct image of two exoplanets. See it now. - Mashable
I did it because my mum asked me too!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But it wasn’t much.
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And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
What did i know ?
What is your best forbidden sex story that felt so right?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Im still living with it.
I was seconnd youngest,
How can you know if they are your twin flame and not limerence or obsession?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
And i lived it daily.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Why is there so much free porn on the internet?
We were not on the streets..
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
So whats the point in blame.
What can you do if you are a full-grown adult, but never experienced being a child?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
How do I run away? I'm 15 and live in Oklahoma.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I was scared of men, in general
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
My life is so biszare .
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
My family never makes their pension either.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
She was in good health!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Who then, do I blame.?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I was 9 years of age.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Comes on , in middle age.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
He knew the spot.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
She married twice! .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I think the readers, may guess!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
So, i spoilt her more .
This is soul school!.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
(And it was in our own minds.)
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
When she asked me how she looked .
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I write beautiful poetry .
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
She loved him until the end.
We all went to grammer schools
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I waited trembling.
Especially a lifetime of it.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He resisted the act ,that day.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
All the time i was locked up.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I don,t even have a pension.
But, we were locked up after school.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
On the 31st of Jan this month .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
But ive been too sick for many years..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
One cannot live in the past .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
It was going to be , some day.
She found it foreign!.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Put me off passion for life!!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I was very sick at this time too.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Ive learnt so much.
I will be 64.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Im dying but, im not bitter.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I have no regrets .
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Why did i forgive my father ?
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
She wouldn,t have been !
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Would this be the day?
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!